spending some time again this week with louie, via internet, from passion city church.
it has been a regular occurence
an afternoon meeting i eagerly await while they upload his latest sermon.
this week we looked at love, specifically hitting: 1 john 4, 1 john 3, and psalm 139
love, we often times think of as a feeling but really it is a choice. that is outlined for us
in 1 corinthians 13:4-13. it specifically outlines what actions demonstrate love.
but what we looked at today was loving one another, because God loves us.
we also looked at learning to receive love, then reflecting that love to others.
for some of us receiving love is tough.
for me receiving love can be difficult.
you see, i can love those around me, my family, my friends,
and i love big. sometimes i love so much it hurts.
but to receive love.
that's another story.
you see part of my story has ties of rejection.
and when you are rejected it is easy to start thinking
you don't deserve love.
especially if the person rejecting you is a parent.
it just doesn't seem fathomable that a person who carries the same dna
would reject you. now as a parent it seems even more far fetched.
come hell or highwater, nothing could keep me from these precious babies.
to be in their lives, loving on them daily, lord have mercy
it is what makes my heart tick.
to walk away, not possible.
about 5 years ago i had a falling out with my dad.
we had complicated relationship prior to that,
but 5 years ago, rubber met the road so to speak,
and the relationship was broken.
the tough part was he still had a relationship with my siblings.
just not me.
when that happened feelings and thoughts crept in like
"if your own father doesn't want a relationship with you what's wrong with you?"
"having a relationship with you isn't worth fighting for or apologizing for"
"you aren't loved"
"you don't have value in the life of your dad"
"you can be tossed away like yesterdays garbage with no thought"
those were lies i believed.
those were lies that were meant for my destruction, for harm.
lies that haunted my nights and whispered in my ear during the day.
too often we believe the lies someone says about us instead of what God says about us.
for me, i believed the lies and instead the truth of God's word was drowned out
by these lies that threatened to take me down.
but God's truth is stronger, His word is powerful, and pervasive.
in psalm 139 vs 13-14 it says, God loves us, He made us,
we are fearfully and wonderfully made. His works are wonderful!
well i am one of His works, and so are you.
it doesn't matter what lies you believe.
those lies are burned to ashes in the truth of Gods word.
we are God designed. that is truth, that is fact.
my God doesn't make mistakes, He makes miracles.
you and i are one of those miracles.
God took those lies and turned them into truth.
God took what i believed about myself and my worth and made something even more beautiful.
He used that pit of lies to call me unto Himself.
today i have a relationship with my heavenly Father, my creator, who knit me together
that is based on who i am in Him.
you see, God is love.
plain and simple.
anything else, isn't of Him.
those lies, those thoughts i believed about myself, they were ties that bound me up.
ties that kept me from the truth of God's unending, unfailing and immense love for me.
today i often remind myself where my true value, self and worth lies.
it makes my heart smile.
see, it doesn't matter if my dad doesn't value me or even care to have a relationship with me.
what matters is this, God's view of me, and you:
"i am god designed, purpose intended, significant, lavishly loved, a princess,
a daughter of the King of the universe"
precious friend, no matter where you are today, no matter what you think,
stop and think, "is what i believe about myself from God or others?"
if it isn't from God it's just not true. plain and simple.
because God's view of you is through the eyes of love.
you are cherished, loved, and valued.
He celebrates the miracle of you.
a treasure to be held to his heart.